At some point in life, we all lose someone we care about; some earlier than others. Grief is one of the hardest experiences we must survive as humans, and it can be an incredibly rough road. I had my first experience at ten years old; I remained in shock for a year before realizing my father had truly passed.
One of the most important things to remember as people, is that you genuinely understand grief only when the loss is yours to bear. Yes, we can sympathize, even feel part of the pain because we felt it before. We can also cry seeing someone grieve because it reminds us of our own loss. But even with that, grief remains personal, and because it is personal it can be lonely, and carrying such pain by oneself can be crucifying.
We all know about the stages of grief, but that is not what this post is about. These words are about hugging ourselves through the pain, acknowledging the anger and helplessness, accepting messiness and vulnerability as part of the journey, questioning God and life on the purpose of our loss, hearing our heart sink, screaming in silence, and still knowing that however we find ourselves grieving, our feelings are valid and there is help always available.
Grieving stems from not knowing what to do with all the love we have for those we lost and realizing that we love them so much and so deeply that it hurts. Sadly, grief also comes with guilt to the point that living, healing and finding joy again may sometimes feel like betrayal. But it’s not.
Each time you feel bad for wearing a smile, remember that they only want you to be happy. When you say yes to an invitation instead of isolating yourself, know that wherever you go, they are coming with you. It is vital to work toward healing, but only at your own pace. Take the steps you are comfortable taking without letting judgment or blame get to you because nothing protects us against grief, not even the depth of our spiritual knowledge.
Grief lasts a lifetime because we never stop loving them, but let’s not make it a life sentence. All this pain and anger began as love and should never cease to be love.
May the wind that blows on your face today, the sun calling your name through the trees, the bird singing, the butterfly sitting at your window remind you how much you are loved and not forgotten. Our departed loved ones are still here with us through the silence no one can translate, in the laughter of a newborn who carries their traits as a gift, in the realization of dreams we meant to accomplish together, and in the very pain that whispers to our hearts: “Love never dies.”
May you have enough compassion for yourself to choose healing, may you find grace along your journey and may you have enough faith to give life another chance.
Warmly, with Hope & Love,
A.W.E
